Destiny's Forecast: Romance
by Toriano.Flacko
Summary: What do you call a trio of metahumans willing to trick a clueless couple into hooking up? "I don't know, but when I figure it out, it'll make a great title for a story some day." With the help of a few former enemies, tricky allies, and convenient product placement, of course.
1. Chapter 1

**Tor: TT^TT Why, oh, why have I stayed away so long? Got distracted, that's why. That's not an excuse, that's a fault. **

**Free: Faults aren't good things, right?**

**Tor: No they're not. Not unless you get put up as a poster child for teen angst and let's face it, neither of us is doing that just yet.**

**Free: ... What do you mean 'yet'?**

**Disclaimer: Seeing as the many delicately picked titles have been taken at this point due to our laziness, just deal with it cuz I'm the first one to publicize it without regard to the general public. Besides that, we do not own the Teen Titans and totally support the (fake) movie that was to come out some time two years ago. Even if Robin was to be bald in that movie (bald people may take offense if they wish) and Raven was to be... ah, oriental (not going down that road! if you're gonna be an actor and have vaguely Asian looks, please be clear about your origins before you try to kick our ass. thank you).**

Destiny's Forecast: Romance

It's not because he's stubborn, or because of his pride. It's not because, if he made himself look stupid while doing so, the guys would never let him hear the end of it. It's not because he's afraid that she doesn't return his feelings. And it's not because his obsessions _conveniently _get in the way, either. If she gave the word, knowing all about him and how he worked (as if she could know him any better), he would gladly give them up.

He knows that he loves her. But the last time he told somebody that he loved them, less than a day later they _died_, right in front of him. And he could do nothing to stop it.  
He could be damned if he dared to lose her again, let alone so utterly.

She knew _exactly_ how he felt, even if she didn't know he had those thoughts too. Ah, hold on; she liked him and knew he liked her back, yes. She was scared of losing him the same way he was scared of losing her, yes. She was afraid for the same reason as he was, well... no.

He knew from past experience how it felt, losing something precious to him and never quite being able to get it back. That's why he tries not to admit how precious she is to him; if he does, he may as well be shouting from the rooftops, "This is someone I care about! Someone dear to me! Try and take her away from me! Just try it!" In his mind, that was an inexcusable betrayal to her. And he would not do that.

She knew from all the times that she'd almost lost him that her very outlook on everything would change. No longer could everybody be trusted. No longer would the shadows stay where they were supposed to be. No longer would her friends see her the same... would they even still be her friends? Over time she would probably go as mad as she had when the Gordanians had captured her.

Unacceptable! Especially so because there would be no human boy, _her_ human, to help her, to trust her as he had. Besides, as it was, she had kind of... _imprinted_ on him (was that correct?), he being the first earthen she had met close up, not to mention the one she learned her basic earthen language from.

In her mind, that was why she had to show him that she loved him, before somebody took him away from her. Before he took himself away from her. Before it was too _late_.

So they were afraid of losing each other for different reasons. So this led to them coming to their own conclusions about what should be done about it. So had begun a dance that would only pause when one or the other got hurt.

Very troublesome. Or at lest, it would have been if nobody had messed with it. Just watching by itself should have been painful enough.

Then again, Beast Boy was never good at the whole 'look but don't touch' thing. And as even children know, where there's lightning, there will soon be thunder. Of course, then comes the rain. But that's getting ahead of the plan...

As such, it began on a dark, stormy night...

* * *

Tor: Well isn't this one epically weird? Chillax, people, this one will be updated within the next day. Got the first two and a half chapters down (if you count this one) so... eh, it's a pointless one anyway. Which leaves one question. You may do the honors, Free.

Free: WHO THE FAP CARES?

Tor: Thank you Free.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tor: TT^TT Why, oh, why have I stayed away so long? Got distracted, that's why. That's not an excuse, that's a fault. **

**Free: Faults aren't good things, right?**

**Tor: No they're not. Not unless you get put up as a poster child for teen angst and let's face it, neither of us is doing that just yet.**

**Free: ... What do you mean 'yet'?**

**Disclaimer: Seeing as the many delicately picked titles have been taken at this point due to our laziness, just deal with it cuz I'm the first one to publicize it without regard to the general public. Besides that, we do not own the Teen Titans and totally support the (fake) movie that was to come out some time two years ago. Even if Robin was to be bald in that movie (bald people may take offense if they wish) and Raven was to be... ah, oriental (not going down that road! if you're gonna be an actor and have vaguely Asian looks, please be clear about your origins before you try to kick our ass. thank you).**

Destiny's Forecast: Romance

_As such, it began on a dark, stormy night... you know, the kind that's not fit out for man nor beast. People have debated that for years upon years since the saying went, contesting the theory for a perfect storm. That perfect storm. This perfect storm. Today, one has chosen to challenge it head-on with a loophole._

_If man nor beast could travel it, surely a creature both man and beast in origin stood a chance, yes?_

"Cy? Buddy? Not to be an ass about it but could you let me in _before my nuts freeze off_?"

_No, he stood not a dewdrops chance in hell._

* * *

Most people didn't know it, let alone would have guessed it. The fact that he didn't like thunderstorms.

Then again, that was an occupational hazard of being a superhero. If everyone (let alone a handful of people) knew what he feared, somebody could and would eventually use that against him as a weakness. How? He prayed never to find out. That being a fact, Cyborg tried not to jump as lightning flashed outside.

"Wow. Can't believe I used to _like_ when this kind of thing happened. What's gonna go next?" He wondered to himself as he approached the top floor.

The reason why was obvious, or at least it should have been; why he was scared of thunderstorms. If he got zapped by, oh, say a stray bolt of lightning (yet another haphazard of being the second tallest member of the team at 6'3", and happening to be made of metal)... well, there was no telling what might happen.

Say his brain got fried. On the one hand, he would become fully machine or a completely useless hunk of metal. Recurring nightmares for him. On the other hand, he could turn into some psychotic genius who wouldn't hesitate to experiment on everyone and everything he could get his hands on (hey, it could happen!). That, or he would get that intense urge to eat everything that didn't even remotely look like food. Again. Which he could, and from experience, would get indigestion from. He shuddered.

_Okay then, say it doesn't hit my brain. It could still rupture or overcharge my power core, and then..._His human eye twitched as his cybernetic one brought up the image of a nuclear warhead going off. _Not a good idea, especially if it puts anybody else in danger. Oh, wait, that's exactly what it's gonna do!_

And then there was the off-chances that neither his brain nor power core were hit. Would any/all of those rockets stored in his body explode suddenly? Would his circuits fry like the bacon he loves so very much? Or could it have no effect whatsoever?

_Can't take that chance._

To put it lightly, he thinks about this kind of thing a lot during his spare time. Especially so during thunderstorms. Which brings us to the current situation. Now that that's out of the way, let us move on.

"Cy!" The cry was half-angry, half-pleading; awkward at best. Still, it got his attention, frozen just short of the stairs. He could see, however, even from there how Beast Boy was barely holding on to the door.

"I'm comin' grass stain! If you know what I-"

"Dammit tin can!"

"Got it!"

* * *

"Where is he?"

"Come now, Robin. Let's try this once more; do you _really _think that walking over every inch of the room will make him get back any faster?

"Maybe." Starfire resisted the urge to do something rash that would hurt the kitchen far more than it would injure herself, repeating the mantra she'd been practicing for such situations.

_X'hal in... frustrations revolving around Robin out... X'hal in... frustrations revolving around Robin out..._

"Hmm... well..." She could only think of three ways, currently, that would get him focused on something besides the day's newspaper (which he hadn't gotten the chance to read up until this point due to a series of unfortunate circumstances, so he was cranky), and of them one involved getting him to obsess about Slade, one had her acting in a way that would probably be uncomfortable for both of them, and one involved the miracle of Beast Boy returning from his errand within the next two seconds.

One... two...

Okay, there were now two ways she could think of that would get him focused on something besides the day's newspaper... and as she pondered which really was the lesser evil of the two tactics, it was as if a bell went off, signaling a bright idea.

The oven timer happening to go off loudly at that moment was just a bonus, although some would imply that this was the whole point of it. Anyway, she managed to completely miss how he froze and the way his mask twitched at the sound. As seemed to be the case for all women, her powers of denial in certain subjects (such as this one) were omnipotent, if not godlike.

"Ah, Robin! Would you mind testing the zorkaberry pie of tonight's dessert?"

It was an innocent suggestion (not in the least), and of course, due to the fact that he had no convenient escape route on hand, Robin felt forced to oblige, quelling the feeling that he was playing Russian Roulette with a fully-loaded gun.

Then he fully comprehended what she said and relaxed... slightly. After all, the month before he had tried at the suggestion (_not_ dare) of one Kid Flash, and found that those zorkaberries were among the more tasty of his girlfriend's ingredients by themselves (you joke about it you _die_). No longer would his food 'conveniently go missing... okay, _some _of it would still go missing, but for various reasons, not all having anything to do with him... just... well...

He was feeling pretty safe about zorkaberries. And, no, it wasn't like he was developing any kind of addiction to them. That's what he told the others (sans Kori) last week when they found him sleeping in the kitchen, that's what he will tell them next month when something like this happens again, that's what he tells the people at the rehab center, and that's also what he tells himself every night before he goes to bed.

Silkie, on the other hand, knows otherwise. But this currently has nothing to do with the worm. What this has to do with is Robin's _complete_ lack of an addiction to zorkaberries.

And so, Starfire pretended that she couldn't see a slightly unfamiliar gleam appear in her boyfriend's eyes even behind the mask, eerily reminiscent of a certain prankster. Had her plan backfired on her somehow? Or...

"Sure, if you don't mind..." Why did he look like Cyborg did whenever he was doing the barbeque-ing of the meat? Not again... could it be another clone?

She smiled wider as she went to get a fork.

"Yes please! I must know if it is pleasing to the taste buds of my close friends!" _Not to mention whether or not I put enough salt in there..._ "But, umm..." _I'm not nervous about this, I'm not nervous about this... oh why am I so nervous?_ "Uhh..."

"Star? What's wrong?" It was strange; one second she knew, she _knew_ he was staring at the pie on the table next to her, a look she _really_ didn't recognize on his face. Then he was next to her worrying if she was okay.

It wasn't completely strange, though. She knew it was normal for her (boyfriend? man? future husband? greatest weakness?) Robin had mood swings worse than hers been at that time, ever since then. Still, she couldn't help the blush that came from his close proximity as she steeled her resolve.

"Is it okay if I am the one who feeds you?"

* * *

Cyborg: Booyah! How's that for a clliffie?

Raven: Weird and confusing, not to mention late, but it looks like it may have worked.

BeastBoy: (comes in from being drenched) What the hell took so long, man? No, better yet, why the heck was I outside?

Cyborg: Man, my question's way better! What the heck is this about?

Beast Boy: Wow, you're right, that was better.

Raven: You've been working on your sarcasm, haven't you? I'm proud. Anyway, find out next time on _Destiny's Forecast: Romance_!

Beast Boy: That was beautiful.

Cyborg: Still, what kind of name for a piece of 'epic' is that?

Tor: Aw, thanks, guys. Oh yeah, and if Star seems a little OOC, well... eh.

Raven: I don't think that was a compliment.


End file.
